Friday, July 30, 2004
I got into work today to a brand new (kinda) computer. They replaced the piece of SHIT 128MB RAM crap box I was using previously with an Evo (a low end but better than crap-box computer from Compaq). All our work tools are java based so it's a little taxing to have 10,000 webtools, Corp NAV, and god knows what other security and monitoring tools running on a garbage win2K system with only 128MB of RAM.
Anyways, they replaced it. I showed my affection by turning my morning sneerfrown into a look of purest melancoly. I started it up and started basking in the (relative) fastness of it. This stupid, and literal, Wizard pops up on the screen to notify me of the most recent "Workplace Practice" (a bi-weekly attempt by the company to make us professional). Normally I can RMB on the bugger before he tries to professionalize me, especially since it grinds my old PC to a hault when he loads, but he popped right up and said
THIS IS THE VOICE OF YOUR DARKLORD, LUCIFER - THE PRINCE OF LIES AND YOUR WORKPLACE ETHIC!
He didn't really say that, but I expected him to. Along with the new computer came a functioning and activated soundcard+internal speaker. I had never known the Wizard thing used the windows voice synth to say what he pops up with in the speech bubble. At least, I think it was the voice synth but it had so much base that it really did sound like an agent from the abyss was reading off the business practice of the week...which really shouldn't startle anyone working there.
Long story, short: If you hear of an employee at my workplace having his leg hacked off because he got caught in a discount, rusty beartrap this coming Tuesday, it was NOT inspired by any demonic java business practice warlock, but something that the punk bitch had coming to him anyways since he dumped some nasty work on me so he could have the day off.
Anyways, they replaced it. I showed my affection by turning my morning sneerfrown into a look of purest melancoly. I started it up and started basking in the (relative) fastness of it. This stupid, and literal, Wizard pops up on the screen to notify me of the most recent "Workplace Practice" (a bi-weekly attempt by the company to make us professional). Normally I can RMB on the bugger before he tries to professionalize me, especially since it grinds my old PC to a hault when he loads, but he popped right up and said
THIS IS THE VOICE OF YOUR DARKLORD, LUCIFER - THE PRINCE OF LIES AND YOUR WORKPLACE ETHIC!
He didn't really say that, but I expected him to. Along with the new computer came a functioning and activated soundcard+internal speaker. I had never known the Wizard thing used the windows voice synth to say what he pops up with in the speech bubble. At least, I think it was the voice synth but it had so much base that it really did sound like an agent from the abyss was reading off the business practice of the week...which really shouldn't startle anyone working there.
Long story, short: If you hear of an employee at my workplace having his leg hacked off because he got caught in a discount, rusty beartrap this coming Tuesday, it was NOT inspired by any demonic java business practice warlock, but something that the punk bitch had coming to him anyways since he dumped some nasty work on me so he could have the day off.
Thursday, July 29, 2004
We got free food today for our little management team at work today: pizza, pop, and treats. See, they are trying to keep our morale up because we threaten to all just not show up one day in the near future, thus screwing the company like the King and Queen of Fuckington.
Anyways, the desert was some gumdrop filled popcicle things. One of my coworkers (a male, ofcourse) was entertaining everyone by giving his popcicle a BJ. During this, he turns to the nearest person (me) and tries to say "chewy!" but manages to spit a bunch of the gummy bits onto my arm: "Why, yes! It IS chewy!"
We all had a good laugh, calmed down a bit and the spitter says "sorry, I spit up on you, but there was too much to swallow".
One girl had to run to the bathroom because she almost peed herself. The rest of us, dying from lack of air and sore laughing muscles, wiped the tears out of our eyes, calmed down a bit again. We managed to clear out the rest of the caf with our noise, and I can only guess at the number of people that think we were drunk or high, or broken.
Five minutes later, the girl that almost pissed herself is back and finishing her pizza. Among the innuendo, someone made her laugh and, despite putting both hands infront of her mouth, she spits a big, half chewed mushroom across the table and onto my same arm. It was perfectly quiet just long enough for me to plainly ask "What the HELL?".
Then we went back to work and threw paper airplanes and rockets at each other.
Anyways, the desert was some gumdrop filled popcicle things. One of my coworkers (a male, ofcourse) was entertaining everyone by giving his popcicle a BJ. During this, he turns to the nearest person (me) and tries to say "chewy!" but manages to spit a bunch of the gummy bits onto my arm: "Why, yes! It IS chewy!"
We all had a good laugh, calmed down a bit and the spitter says "sorry, I spit up on you, but there was too much to swallow".
One girl had to run to the bathroom because she almost peed herself. The rest of us, dying from lack of air and sore laughing muscles, wiped the tears out of our eyes, calmed down a bit again. We managed to clear out the rest of the caf with our noise, and I can only guess at the number of people that think we were drunk or high, or broken.
Five minutes later, the girl that almost pissed herself is back and finishing her pizza. Among the innuendo, someone made her laugh and, despite putting both hands infront of her mouth, she spits a big, half chewed mushroom across the table and onto my same arm. It was perfectly quiet just long enough for me to plainly ask "What the HELL?".
Then we went back to work and threw paper airplanes and rockets at each other.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
That punk Pete posted some nice screens of the next game in the Total War series...might check that one out. The major feature of the previous ones, the lame ass morale, really turned me off since you'd often lose control of your units attacking as they freaked out for various reasons. Hopefully they've toned that down a bit.
CoH is still the awesome. It really doesn't do much, and just when I think I'm getting bored of it, a nice new story arc catches me, I get another character idea, or a big group gets going and we have too much fun.
I did burn out on it a couple weekends ago and bought Planetside as a diversion. It's still fun and has changed enough since I last played to be interesting. The typical player is still a Quake Zombie fuck-shit, but my system specs and ping allows me to school most people. My favorite secret tactic (you military buffs and 3E D&D players may have heard of this) is called "Flanking".
Yes. You'd be surprised how many people you can kill by driving up BESIDE them in a TANK, parking your 75mm cannon right up against the side of their helmet. The first shot is enough to bring them into the red, and the second will kill off infantry, but even powered armour will often stand stunned, wondering "No one is in front of me, so how can I be getting hurt!?". Then they notice their damage indicator telling them a tank is shooting at them from point blank. They slowly and feebly turn, take a shell in the chest and die.
I'm all about the backstab.
Which reminds me, Oct 2nd is the 30th anniversary of D&D. It makes me sad that I don't have a group to play with, yet am surrounded by so many people that can/want to play.
Stupid work/sleep.
CoH is still the awesome. It really doesn't do much, and just when I think I'm getting bored of it, a nice new story arc catches me, I get another character idea, or a big group gets going and we have too much fun.
I did burn out on it a couple weekends ago and bought Planetside as a diversion. It's still fun and has changed enough since I last played to be interesting. The typical player is still a Quake Zombie fuck-shit, but my system specs and ping allows me to school most people. My favorite secret tactic (you military buffs and 3E D&D players may have heard of this) is called "Flanking".
Yes. You'd be surprised how many people you can kill by driving up BESIDE them in a TANK, parking your 75mm cannon right up against the side of their helmet. The first shot is enough to bring them into the red, and the second will kill off infantry, but even powered armour will often stand stunned, wondering "No one is in front of me, so how can I be getting hurt!?". Then they notice their damage indicator telling them a tank is shooting at them from point blank. They slowly and feebly turn, take a shell in the chest and die.
I'm all about the backstab.
Which reminds me, Oct 2nd is the 30th anniversary of D&D. It makes me sad that I don't have a group to play with, yet am surrounded by so many people that can/want to play.
Stupid work/sleep.
Friday, July 02, 2004
This is neat. Stole the link from one of my CoH guildies.
Seeing Spiderman 2 tonight. AND YOU AREN'T!!
(unless you're Shane and Erin...who are going too).
Seeing Spiderman 2 tonight. AND YOU AREN'T!!
(unless you're Shane and Erin...who are going too).
