Friday, July 30, 2004
I got into work today to a brand new (kinda) computer. They replaced the piece of SHIT 128MB RAM crap box I was using previously with an Evo (a low end but better than crap-box computer from Compaq). All our work tools are java based so it's a little taxing to have 10,000 webtools, Corp NAV, and god knows what other security and monitoring tools running on a garbage win2K system with only 128MB of RAM.
Anyways, they replaced it. I showed my affection by turning my morning sneerfrown into a look of purest melancoly. I started it up and started basking in the (relative) fastness of it. This stupid, and literal, Wizard pops up on the screen to notify me of the most recent "Workplace Practice" (a bi-weekly attempt by the company to make us professional). Normally I can RMB on the bugger before he tries to professionalize me, especially since it grinds my old PC to a hault when he loads, but he popped right up and said
THIS IS THE VOICE OF YOUR DARKLORD, LUCIFER - THE PRINCE OF LIES AND YOUR WORKPLACE ETHIC!
He didn't really say that, but I expected him to. Along with the new computer came a functioning and activated soundcard+internal speaker. I had never known the Wizard thing used the windows voice synth to say what he pops up with in the speech bubble. At least, I think it was the voice synth but it had so much base that it really did sound like an agent from the abyss was reading off the business practice of the week...which really shouldn't startle anyone working there.
Long story, short: If you hear of an employee at my workplace having his leg hacked off because he got caught in a discount, rusty beartrap this coming Tuesday, it was NOT inspired by any demonic java business practice warlock, but something that the punk bitch had coming to him anyways since he dumped some nasty work on me so he could have the day off.
Anyways, they replaced it. I showed my affection by turning my morning sneerfrown into a look of purest melancoly. I started it up and started basking in the (relative) fastness of it. This stupid, and literal, Wizard pops up on the screen to notify me of the most recent "Workplace Practice" (a bi-weekly attempt by the company to make us professional). Normally I can RMB on the bugger before he tries to professionalize me, especially since it grinds my old PC to a hault when he loads, but he popped right up and said
THIS IS THE VOICE OF YOUR DARKLORD, LUCIFER - THE PRINCE OF LIES AND YOUR WORKPLACE ETHIC!
He didn't really say that, but I expected him to. Along with the new computer came a functioning and activated soundcard+internal speaker. I had never known the Wizard thing used the windows voice synth to say what he pops up with in the speech bubble. At least, I think it was the voice synth but it had so much base that it really did sound like an agent from the abyss was reading off the business practice of the week...which really shouldn't startle anyone working there.
Long story, short: If you hear of an employee at my workplace having his leg hacked off because he got caught in a discount, rusty beartrap this coming Tuesday, it was NOT inspired by any demonic java business practice warlock, but something that the punk bitch had coming to him anyways since he dumped some nasty work on me so he could have the day off.
