Thursday, August 21, 2003
I promise that I will put future spoiler warnings in CAPS so that even Ian can't miss them.
I guess BMWs, like Buicks, are faster than evil.
Polearms are the biggest waste of paper in D&D 3rd Edition. You can't use them to strike enemies within a 5' radius of yourself because...well, they don't actual give a reason. They just seem to assume that if you are holding a 10' pole, that you can only hit stuff 10' away. I hate having to sacrifice functionality over style in FANTASY games. Hopefully 3.5 Edition will address that.
I shall now be known as the Teflon Tummy. I just had half a package of curly fries and noticed on the last fry that a lot of the coating on the pan had apparently peeled off and onto my food. I should be able to vomit with metal-shredding speed and my belches should cause sonic booms.
Still no phone calls.
"Chris Crawford on Game Design" is extremely bland. He spends a chapter on defining 'fun'. That's all the review this book needs.
I'm planning to write some Harry Potter fanfic-screenplay. See, I travel to England and foil an attempt on Potter's life. The first scene is 40 minutes long and involves me with akimbo machine pistols killing hundreds of Death Eaters and Dementors in slow motion in Harry's house. I eventually run out of ammunition. Harry then throws me his wand while I pull out my own and then continue killing villains with dual wand style. Eventually, the last 10 of them catch Harry and force me to drop the wands or they'll kill him. I comply, but just before they kill me, my dragon familiar drives a car through the wall, killing a few of them and letting Harry get away. I then finish off the last Death Eaters with my brutal-acrobatic Kung Fu technique. We corner the last one and make him tell us what Voldemort's plan is. He says "Hahah! It's too late! We knew we couldn't defeat YOU so we just did this as a distraction while we killed off Harry's friends! AHAHAHA!". And then he bites down on his poison capsule-tooth and dies. I'm still working on the rest.
I have James Brown stuck in my head.
I read all of Mac Hall last night. It was excellent. The Weapon of Choice comic is hilarious, and the parellels between the people he knows and the people I know are terrifying at times. Oh, and his art is AWESOME.
I was talking with Shane last night about the lack of creative monster attacks in games such as Natural Selection or AvP. Why has no one thought to do a grapple attack so that you lock onto their body (the back would be best, ofcourse) and rake and claw and bite them while all they can do is stumble around and scream? Or how about dragging them back to your hive and feeding them to a brain creature and gaining their map intellegence? Or needing their 'raw materials' for creating certain upgrades? Or having them gooed up to a wall as a sort of cooler for when you and your alien buds need a HP refresher? Or how about a poison that drops them for 20 seconds but doesn't kill them? Why not have a fast regen alien that lets it's buddies canabalise it instead of just healing them directly? Too many FPS have direct damage weapons and that's it. No one thinks about stunning someone or harvesting bodies or in-depth team play. There should be SUBSTANTIAL bonuses for getting attacked by more than one person at a time. That would severely discourage people from running off and going Rambo. Wounded people need to act wounded, their friends need to be able to drag them off to save them. Deaths should not penalise you, but reward your enemy.
I guess BMWs, like Buicks, are faster than evil.
Polearms are the biggest waste of paper in D&D 3rd Edition. You can't use them to strike enemies within a 5' radius of yourself because...well, they don't actual give a reason. They just seem to assume that if you are holding a 10' pole, that you can only hit stuff 10' away. I hate having to sacrifice functionality over style in FANTASY games. Hopefully 3.5 Edition will address that.
I shall now be known as the Teflon Tummy. I just had half a package of curly fries and noticed on the last fry that a lot of the coating on the pan had apparently peeled off and onto my food. I should be able to vomit with metal-shredding speed and my belches should cause sonic booms.
Still no phone calls.
"Chris Crawford on Game Design" is extremely bland. He spends a chapter on defining 'fun'. That's all the review this book needs.
I'm planning to write some Harry Potter fanfic-screenplay. See, I travel to England and foil an attempt on Potter's life. The first scene is 40 minutes long and involves me with akimbo machine pistols killing hundreds of Death Eaters and Dementors in slow motion in Harry's house. I eventually run out of ammunition. Harry then throws me his wand while I pull out my own and then continue killing villains with dual wand style. Eventually, the last 10 of them catch Harry and force me to drop the wands or they'll kill him. I comply, but just before they kill me, my dragon familiar drives a car through the wall, killing a few of them and letting Harry get away. I then finish off the last Death Eaters with my brutal-acrobatic Kung Fu technique. We corner the last one and make him tell us what Voldemort's plan is. He says "Hahah! It's too late! We knew we couldn't defeat YOU so we just did this as a distraction while we killed off Harry's friends! AHAHAHA!". And then he bites down on his poison capsule-tooth and dies. I'm still working on the rest.
I have James Brown stuck in my head.
I read all of Mac Hall last night. It was excellent. The Weapon of Choice comic is hilarious, and the parellels between the people he knows and the people I know are terrifying at times. Oh, and his art is AWESOME.
I was talking with Shane last night about the lack of creative monster attacks in games such as Natural Selection or AvP. Why has no one thought to do a grapple attack so that you lock onto their body (the back would be best, ofcourse) and rake and claw and bite them while all they can do is stumble around and scream? Or how about dragging them back to your hive and feeding them to a brain creature and gaining their map intellegence? Or needing their 'raw materials' for creating certain upgrades? Or having them gooed up to a wall as a sort of cooler for when you and your alien buds need a HP refresher? Or how about a poison that drops them for 20 seconds but doesn't kill them? Why not have a fast regen alien that lets it's buddies canabalise it instead of just healing them directly? Too many FPS have direct damage weapons and that's it. No one thinks about stunning someone or harvesting bodies or in-depth team play. There should be SUBSTANTIAL bonuses for getting attacked by more than one person at a time. That would severely discourage people from running off and going Rambo. Wounded people need to act wounded, their friends need to be able to drag them off to save them. Deaths should not penalise you, but reward your enemy.
